THE BLAME GAME

“When you blame others for your circumstances, you surrender control of your future”…Frank Sonnenberg

To Blame is defined as, “to say or think that someone or something did something wrong or is responsible for something bad happening”.

 Many of us have likely blamed others for some disappointment that we have experienced in our lives. In some situations, this blame is more justifiable than in others particularly if terrible things happen to us during those formative and impressionable years of our lives -those years when we are relying on the guidance of our parents, guardians, elders and spiritual leaders. However, when things don’t go as we planned or hoped for, at some point along life’s journey we have to choose to take responsibility for the choices and decisions that we make in our lives regardless of the outcome they yield. 

THE BLAME GAME AND CRIME

According to the American Civil Liberties Union, the United States has more than 20% of the world’s prison population.  Additionally, since 1970, the United States incarceration population has increased by 500% with nearly 2 million people being incarcerated in 2022. Over the years criminologists have tried to explain what leads to criminal behavior.  Their efforts to explain such criminal behavior include factors such as: evil spirits, biological, psychological, societal or economical. Although these are factors that could potentially influence a person’s criminal behavior, some criminologists believe that proceeding with the commission of a crime is a matter of choice, which is often referred to as the Rational Choice Theory.

“I Am a Killer” is a series on Netflix and Crime+Investigation UK.  The series features interviews with death row inmates.  There have been 4 seasons of this crime series that has been released since 2018. Many fans of the crime series resonated with the story of David Barnett from Season 2 on Netflix. David Barnett had been on death row for over two decades for the murder of his adoptive grandparents.  David killed his grandparents on February 4, 1996, shortly after confessing to them that their son (John Barnett, who had adopted David at the age of 7 had been physically and sexually abusing him for years). However, his birth mom was an alcoholic, he was molested by a friend of his mother, and also spent time in the foster care system.

In 2015, David’s death sentence was overturned after a judge ruled that his lawyers should have introduced more evidence into court about David’s traumatic childhood.  Consequently, David’s death row sentence was commuted to life in prison without the possibility of parole.

It is not uncommon for some prisoners to not only confess to their crimes, but also to have remorse. As it relates to David, he confessed that he, “… went into a state of overkill, of manic rage. I lost consciousness and killed two innocent people.” David also further took ownership of his action by sharing with viewers that he didn’t hate his adoptive father because he had his own issues to overcome.

TAKING MORE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS

“When you blame and criticize others, you are avoiding some truth about yourself.”…Deepak Chopra

Throughout the years I have spent time volunteering with different organizations. For the most part, my experience has been very positive. However, once I had an experience that resulted in my terminating my involvement with a particular family that I was working with at the time because they repeatedly missed scheduled appointments. After informing one of the parents about my decision to terminate the relationship (after receiving approval from the organization that I was volunteering with to proceed with my decision), I was quickly accused by this parent of walking out on the family’s needs. As part of my explanation to the family, I summarized why I was terminating the relationship and also added that it was really unfortunate that they were not taking responsibility for their own actions.  

One of the main reasons that people do not take responsibility for their actions and decisions is because it is easier to look for a “scapegoat” rather than take an introspective look at their own actions (which takes courage to do).  Once you make the decision to do this along with doing  other constructive things like (stop making excuses, honoring your word, and start setting personal goals) you will begin to gain the respect of others.  

Remember, “It’s easy to blame others for your situation. It’s much more productive to search your own past and find what caused your faults.”.. Anonymous

RESOURCES:
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/blame
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/nop2.170
https://www.aclu.org/issues/smart-justice/mass-incarceration
https://www.statista.com/statistics/262961/countries-with-the-most-prisoners/
https://www.encyclopedia.com/law/encyclopedias-almanacs-transcripts-and-maps/causes-crime
https://www.ojp.gov/ncjrs/virtual-library/abstracts/choice-theory-criminology-seventh-edition-p-112-145-2000-larry-j
https://www.thelawproject.com.au/criminology-why-do-people-commit-crimes