DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND RENEWING YOUR MIND
Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story, which debuted on Netflix in September of 2022, became one of the most popular watched Netflix original series, and it also ranked in the top 10 on the Nielsen Streaming Ratings for the highest viewership since Nielsen began tracking streaming activities. However, despite the show’s popularity, it became re-traumatizing for some of the victims’ families as they reflected over the violent and gruesome death of their loved ones.
The mini series also debuted on the heels of Domestic Violence Awareness Month which focuses on acknowledging domestic violence survivors and also bringing together advocates in an effort to end domestic violence.
Domestic Violence, Relationship Violence and Dating Violence all involve patterns of behavior in which someone uses physical violence, intimidation, isolation or other forms of abuse to harm you. However, according to behavior psychologists, acting on these negative behaviors can be either impulsive or evolutionary.
One psychologist who believes a person’s violent behavior is an evolutionary process is Louis Schlesinger. Schlesinger, is a professor of psychology at John Jay College of Criminal Justice and an expert on serial sexual murder. As it relates to serial murderer, Jeffrey Dahmer’s, violent behavior, Schlesinger said that, “When you do something like Dahmer did, you don’t just one day do it, it begins in the mind.” https://www.aetv.com/real-crime/jeffrey-dahmer-childhood-serial-killer-cannibal-bones
Like many people Jeffrey Dahmer’s childhood was not without its challenges. He and his family moved frequently, and his parents also had a tumultuous marriage which eventually ended in divorce. His mother also struggled with mental health issues. However, the childhood challenges that Dahmer faced doesn’t typically lead to a person becoming a serial murderer, according to p
sychologists. Additionally, in Dahmer’s own words, he killed his victims because he was,
“so desperately lonely” and “so ashamed of being gay.” He also chose to eat his victims because he wanted them to be part of him”. https://nypost.com/2022/10/05/jeffrey-dahmer-interviewer-reveals-why-killer-ate-victims/
According to several news stories, most of Dahmer’s victims were gay minorities who were impoverished and extremely vulnerable. Although anyone can be a victim of violence, there are still things that individuals can proactively do in an effort to avoid becoming a victim.
TRUST YOUR INTUITION
Many years ago, when I was in grade school, I considered getting into a relationship with a classmate who was interested in me. For several weeks we were in frequent communication with each other which provided me with an opportunity to begin learning more about him. However, during the process of getting to know him, he began exhibiting an extreming controlling and violent behavior, like accusing me of being interested in other guys, and also becoming extremely loud and verbally demeaning whenever we spoke. Although I did not have much of a positive male figure in my life growing up, something about the tone of his voice in comparison to how other people who cared for me would speak to me, made me feel very uneasy which caused me to walk away from the relationship that we were exploring. Occasionally he has crossed my mind, like people from our past may periodically do, and till this day, I feel confident that my decision likely caused me to avoid being in a dangerous relationship.
Some of the ways that you can begin tuning more into your intuition is by mediating more, practicing mindfulness, and not ignoring the physiological changes that happen in your body when you feel unsafe.
ABUSING SOMEONE IS A CHOICE
“Be Ye Transformed by the Renewing of Your Mind”, Romans 12:2
Domestic abuse, also called “domestic violence” or “intimate partner violence” is an abusive pattern of behavior wherein an individual is vying for control and power in a relationship. Abusive acts include: physical abuse, sexual abuse, economic abuse, intimidation and isolation.
According to the American Psychological Association, socioeconomic status contributes to violent behaviors. https://www.apa.org/pi/ses/resources/publications/violence. Additionally, it is believed that Domestic Violence/Abuse is a “choice” as opposed to an “uncontrolled impulse” and that a “survivor’s actions cannot cause abusive behavior. https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-causes-domestic-violence#types-of-domestic-abuse.
We will always have choices to make in life. These choices may involve choosing to accept or reject a person or situation, and also how we can more effectively respond to a person or situation. Effectively responding to situations involves consciously becoming more aware of our thoughts, what we say and or actions.
RESOURCES:
https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/fastfact.html
www.thehotline.org/
